SPEAKING IMMEDIATELY AFTER BIRTH. PROVES TO BE BILINGUAL
Hal and Rosa DeMacartio of Pensacola, Fla. are the proud
parents of an eight pound baby boy, whom they have named
Nigel Richard DeMacartio, in honor of both maternal and
paternal grandfathers and have nicknamed Bugs, in honor
of his first words.
“What’s up Doc?” the boy asked the attending
pediatrician, immediately upon birth. Both the doctor
and the assisting nurse ran from the delivery room,
looking for a psychiatrist or a hearing specialist,
fearing that they might be either losing their minds
from over work or experiencing some sort of hearing
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Dr. Edward Einstein, when
later interviewed. “It’s a good thing I hadn’t picked
the child up; I probably would have dropped him on his
head at that point.”
Nurse Phyllis York confirmed what had happened. “I know
my own children have driven me to the brink of
insanity,” she told the media. “But I thought this child
had sent me over the edge.”
Little Nigel makes a call to his financial adviser to
buy some stocks and shares
“We had read that babies hear sounds, that is people
talking, even when they are in the womb,” explained Hal
DeMacartio. “So we tried to include our unborn child in
all of our conversations but we never considered such a
thing as this happening in our wildest imaginations.
Since both English and Spanish are spoken in our home,
our son seems to have picked up both languages.”
“Si, hablar Espanol y English,” confirmed young Bugs,
who was immediately scolded by his father for
interrupting when adults were talking.
“Well how did I know it was wrong?” asked young Bugs,
indignantly, taking exception to the chastisement. “I’m
not even a day old. Nobody has ever told me anything
about this good manners stuff.”
Bugs entertained the media with a series of jokes and a
rather off color song which led his mother to give his
father a rather dirty look. “I guess we both know where
he picked THAT up from!” she told him.
“I guess I’m going to have to learn to watch my
language,” confirmed a red faced Hal DeMacartio, as he
apologized to the crowd.
“I knew I’d been hearing sounds coming from my abdomen,”
said Rosa DeMacartio. “But I put it down to indigestion
and took some Tums.”
“Yeah, Mom, and those pills you took, yech, those were
the pits!” said Bugs making up a terrible face.
When a terrible smell which suddenly permeated the room
proved to be coming from Bugs, the child apologized
profusely to the crowd. “I’m sorry folks,” he told them.
“But I had to go and I’m not yet potty trained.”
When the interview was over, Bugs called to the crowd,
“Th, th, that’s all folks.” It is expected that the boy
will turn out to be a big Loony Tunes fan.