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Weird Websites - Weird News Stories.
SNAKE SENDS CHARTS SOARING AS RECORD SALES HIT AN ALL TIME HIGH

“His voice just makes me want to ssssswoon,” said one fan. She was, of course, speaking of Sadacious Snake, the newest rock star with the highest record sales in the shortest time since the hey day of Elvis Presley.
Fans were gathered by the thousands around the Duvernoy Pond in Osdacious Park, hoping for a glance of the new king of rock and roll, slither and glide.


Not wanting to let his fans down, Sadacious Snake was only too happy to put in an appearance. “Sssso happy to sssseee you all,” he hissed, as his fans cheered and made hissing sounds when he was spotted. Dressed in a gold colored suit, adorned with rings of orange and black, Sadacious Snake was indeed a sight to behold.
Swiveling his lower body as he went, Sadacious Snake circled the pond so that all of his fans could get a good look at him. “Hug me baby!” screamed one fan. “Hug me, hug me, hug me!” Fans screamed in anticipation as Sadacious slithered out of the pond to comply with her wish. Wrapping himself around her in a hug as only Sadacious Snake can do, he kissed her full on the lips, which sent her into a swoon. “I felt his tongue,” she confided in an interview later. “I swear I did.”

 

Sadacious on his world wide tour with Britney Spears


Sadacious adhered to the wishes of his fans as they called for him to sing, putting on an impromptu concert. He sang several of his most popular songs, including, of course, Hug Me Baby, Sssssweet Sssizzzling Love and Micccceee Manifesssto, which caused loyal fans to shower him with bouquets of mice, which he received humbly and with great thanks.


“He’s just so ssssweeet,” hissed one fan, in the imitation of Sadacious’ speech which many of his fans have taken up.
Sadacious picked up his guitar which is made from a sea shell, glowing in its colors of white, pink, green and blue. He strummed on it as he swiveled around the pond, hissing as he went. “Oh Ssssadacioussss,” screamed Fans. “We love you Sssssadacioussss.” Fans passed out in swoons of adoration, as Sadacious hissed in their direction as he passed.


Parents and others stood back from the pond in disapproving groups as they watched what they described as a display of wantent behavior. “No decent snake would act like that,” said the parent of one of Sadacious most ardent fans. “Why, the other day he just shed what he was wearing, right in front of the children with absolutely no shame at all. The children went wild. They grabbed up the clothing and ripped it apart. My own daughter brought home a piece and framed it; I thought I would die of mortification.”


“I am the king!” shouted Sadacious in his deep hissing voice, before disappearing into the depths of the pound.
In a later press interview, Sadacious denied any indecent intentions in the swivels of his lower body during his singing. “I’m jusssst nervoussss,” he insisted. “If I had kneessss, they’d be ssshaking.”

 

 

Story by our news reporter Gail McLeod - Working for Independence

 

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